The flying things
All the summers I went with my friends to Club Pucará. Were names Mateo, Agustín, Valentino and Tiziano. We went to the Club.at 2 o´clock to 7 o´clock. We played football, Rugby, a game called ¨MANCHA¨ and we played in the swimming pool.
One day we were playing football and I hit the ball to the roof of the bathroom. We could not get the ball of the roof. So, we played with a shoe. I hit the shoe to the roof. When Mateo went home, his mother punished him because he lost the ball and the shoe.
The next week, Mateo´s brother climbed and took the ball and the shoe. At the time we played all the days and we take care of not hit the ball very strong.But I did not said anything to the mum of Mateo that I lost the ball and his shoe
Marcos,
ResponderEliminarYou still have to be careful with repetition, you use the verb "play" too many times in a very short space. Also, try to include only important information. For example, why do you make a list of names of characters if they are not going to play a role in the story? Is it important to mention the exact time you spend at the club (from 2 to 7)? If it is, why?
Mark: 6,50 (six fifty)